Twenty years ago, July 26th, 1990, the Americans with Disability Act was signed. Thirty Seven years ago, in 1973, the Rehabilitation Act was signed. Why do we even have to have laws to allow those with disabilities to get appropriate accommodations? Isn't it common sense?
It is sometimes amusing to see how different people respond to me. Some feel that I appropriately need accommodations. Other see it as a special treatment. What is an accommodation anyway? I don't mean the legal definition, but in the world and how people perceive it.
When something is on the top shelf and a very tall person gets an item for a petite young lady or an old grandma, this is accommodating them. It is not considered a special treatment. The tall person feels oblige to be able to help. But this isn't always true for a disabled person requesting an accommodation. Sometimes it is perceived as a burden or special treatment.
All I ever want is to be apart of a community. Some people scoff and say, "I treat everyone the same." What does that mean? That talking directly to me, slowing slightly so I can understand is special treatment?
What does it mean "I treat everyone the same!"? No one treats everyone the same. You do not treat your mother the same way you would your best friend. You do not treat your boy/girl friend the same as you would a four year old niece. You would even slightly be different to a four year old nephew. You even treat a stranger different from your spouse.
To communicate and connect to the people around us, we adjust. When we are in a professional setting, we act professional. When we go out to a social party, we will also act very different. We adjust talking to our grandma and switch to a different social interaction when we talk to our best buddies. This is accommodating the folks to fit in the appropriate niche. When we talk to someone where English is not their first language, we slow down our speech
We can't make the world equal and even for everyone. That is an impossibility. So how could anyone treat everyone the same? They can't, that is their way of saying they do not want to change themselves to accommodate someone they think is getting special treatment.
However, each human has a right to belong to a community and network. It can be challenging to balance accommodations where it doesn't become a burden or special treatment. Each person will have a different opinion. I have found some people willing to slow down their speech, articulate and be patient in explaining things carefully to me. On the other hand, I have had people short, rude and patronizing. I've had people understand I do not hear well, but loose patience and just do not want to "deal with me."
I find it interesting that the attention a disabled person gets can create resentment. It is perceived as special treatments and not an accommodation. They focus on the difference and the attention that they are not getting. Why do people compare an accommodation as attention they are not getting? Or treatment the disabled person doesn't deserve? This creates animosity. We can always brush it off and say that person needs to deal with it, but when you have to work with this person and depend on their help, it makes it much more difficult. They put the barriers to your community.
Many disabled individuals have stated, "I can deal with my disability and try to problem solve to get around it, but it is the people who put up the biggest barriers." This also has been my experience as well.
When appropriate accommodation occurs and the person is apart of the community, balance happens. Resentment is non-existence and the disabled person can contribute to others as well and feel whole. This is balance. This is community. Working together.
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