Anyone can go to a senior citizen rec room and listen to the old folks talk about their ailments, aches and pains. You would hear something like, "Oh, if you think that is bad, I have this." And around it goes all day long. Everyone has aches and pains and everyone has to get through something. One time or another, we are all have some kind of pain or ache story to tell. Sometimes, it just feels good to complain about it. Usually people will throw sympathy and that attention of social acceptance just makes you feel validated. But on the other hand, others will roll their eyes and snap, "Quit your complaining, I don't want to hear it!"
Regardless big or small, it is still something we have to learn how to deal. If we get more than one or two things occurring at once, it is more difficult to juggle. I got a scare almost several months back when my Triglycerides were 1173, where the value you want is 150 or less. My cholesterol was 362 and other values were not good as well. These values are telling me that there is thick sludge pumping through my veins. That fear that comes over me and I think, "am I going to croak?" Just before this test, I had slept for three days, wondering what was wrong with me. I had low energy. The blood test also revealed anemia, low Vitamin D and low calcium. Oh fun, anything else? Stress. I had a tight muscle that felt like I had a slip disk in my back. Although a later doctor appointment confirmed no. Then when lying in some grass at a dog training facility, I laid there for a good 10 minutes and my back popped and I felt much better. I then wondered if this was the problem? The next two nights I slept with no pain and didn't get woken up by upper back pain. Oh, I guess I better start going to a chiropractor. Never been to one, but looks like if I have something similar, I know where to go to solve the middle of the night pain.
Earlier this year I was side swiped by having decreased vision and hearing. But I wonder, could I just be so unhealthy now that the sludge running through my veins is affecting optimal performance of my hearing and vision? Could it be?
When your health is down, you don't function to your potential. I also notice that people start acting different around you, as if you are lazy or just need a good kick in the pants. I find it interesting people assume too quickly if you can't function like the average spectrum, they start treating you as if you don't matter. That you are a burden or a drag. You sense a bit of a distance from these people, making all the judgements like "oh get over yourself." Well hard to move normal when you have sludge running in your veins, less vision, less hearing and just over all exhausted from not enough iron and other minerals you need. People seem to get a little put off if they have to put more out for you. Like having toe explain something a bit more, or not understanding why you are not right on your game. People are so ignorantly critical.
I had been on Triglyceride medication, but it has caused other malfunctions of my muscle in my body. If I don't take such medication, I'm headed straight to pancreatitis. I'm one sick girl if I don't watch it. But with this inflammation throughout my body, it hurts to move. Thus, how can I exercise? I try to eat well but I have developed such an addiction to bad foods, this is not helping either. I'm a bit overwhelmed with how to get myself back. Trying to keep up with life has been daunting, exhausting, and exasperating. I try, I really try. Then fall and feel like I need to give up. Why? I miss feeling my bouncy exhilarating self. I need the extra energy to fill in what I can't see and hear to connect to my world. Instead, it is easier to hide, and sleep and do nothing.
Another one of my addictions is social media. I do not get out enough to socialize, so social media is it for me. But then it absorbs me where I am starting to not function and it is interfering not only with my life but my progress to better health. It allows me to escape my world that I know it. I can forget that my house is a mess, that I don't feel well, that I'm exhausted in the evenings. I now have a Place to escape all of what is going on.
Of course very few understand this. They think I"m just lazy, disorganized or something. Those who judge, have such luxury, but they don't realize they also create more oft he problem, the distance and push off vibes they give. This time more than every in my life, I need acceptance. But the true positive thinker I try to be, I think how does this help me? It helps me to find myself to build myself. Since the outside world doesn't understand, I have to create my own world of understanding.
But what I need to do, is how do I not take medication and get this horrific level of Triglycerides down? In that past when I did 2 hours of rigorous exercise, my blood chemistry looked good, but why do I have to do that much exercise? Today I don't want to get up and move. is sad since I was a person who loved to be on the go and move around. It isn't laziness, it is a physiological thing where my body is shutting down. My life depends on me changing.
The good news is things are shifting to the better, but not fast enough to get my body humming a great tune. Take one day at a time, write out my life schedule, and keep moving, that's what I need to do instead of shutting down, is take all mental ability to keep moving.
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