Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I'm a walking fur ball

     Roommates and co-workers. How to live and work with them when you are a walking fur ball.

     When I started college, I also started the wonderful world of roommates. It can be challenging to learn  how to live with other people. One thing I have learned out of the several roommates I have had, each female thinks she cleans better than anyone else. Didn't matter what roommate I had, they as an individual, always felt they cleaned better than anyone else. You can never be as good as them, do as well as them and they certainly like to point out that you do not measure up to them.

         I had one roommate who would get so mad that I would leave "hair" in the shower. I don't mean the accumulation of hair that goes to the drain, I can see that, they would get upset if they saw a hair on the wall of the shower. I looked puzzled at them and another roommate popped up and said, "She doesn't see it!" I went to the shower, looking about 4 inches from the wall, scanning the shower wall for the one strand of hair. After awhile, I found "the" hair. Good grief, someone all bent out of shape about one hair, that I can't see. I have to scan the shower wall for 15 minutes to find it. Oh forget this, they will just have to deal with it. I will clean the wall the best I can, if I miss it, I miss it. Life goes on.

           I had another roommate that thought it was funny to watch me clean. She said you would wipe one area three times missing the dirt! She realized that I clean differently than others. I actually do. Even though I do have vision, I more or less go by feel. I've had people who can see well, but I go up and feel it with my hands and think it was dirty. But sight wise it was clean. So different perspectives.

              I know I have had roommates get upset that I wasn't "clean" and it wasn't that I wasn't clean per se, I just couldn't see the dirt, hair or small particles. Though, I could feel the dirt, which they didn't realize was there. If I can't feel it, then it is "out of sight, out of mind" literally. This does pose tension with roommates and even co-workers. Some never say anything, just thinking that I'm rude, selfish, weird or just a dirty pig. I do try to clean the best I can, I will do work like mop floors, vacuum, etc. but it just doesn't seem to be enough for people. Feels fine to me, but it also have to be "visually" clean. Ironic since most germs are undetectable to the eye. My roommates could never bring themselves to tell me. Cleaning is a touchy subject with females it seems.

              This also happens with my cloths as well. I will brush my teeth or drink a smoothie not realizing I spilled on my shirt. I will even look down and cannot see the spill or the drip. Then when I go outside in good bright sunlight, I see the spot or the mess. OH MAN! Many times I have gone to work with spots and dribbles and not even know they are there. Then mid-morning I will go outside in the sunlight to take Divine, my hearing dog, outside for a potty, I look down and on my shirt there is the dribble, spot or something.

               I'm also a walking fur ball. The fine under coat of my dogs will be on my paints or shirt that I cannot see. Out of sight, out of mind. I know people see it, and all they do is make internal judgements and go to other people to make such judgements. When you are in-between deaf-blind, you sometimes are so exhausted from trying to overcome everything and to try and remember something to do that you can't see to cue you in to take care of it, it is exhausting. Remembering fur is just another added thing to think about. People take for granted that most of the things they do is visual. They get visual reminders to groom themselves. Besides, that is mostly what grooming is, visual and we certainly make judgements if someone can't groom themselves perfectly or if they miss something. It is almost like I need to find a kind person to not make me feel patronized to check me in the morning. Anyone else with sight thinks this is a great idea, but be in the shoes of this person. Not being groomed is associated with how intelligent, or professional or many other things. Even if you have an excuse you cannot see the fur balls, spills, wrinkles or many other things on your cloths, people will make a judgement on you that is certainly demeaning. Any person wants to be independent and respected. The balance of learning how to find someone to "scan" you over every day without feeling demeaned or patronized.

               Of course  you must have humor, but it also takes being around people who understand. Trying to go against the grain of judgemental people is tiresome. You feel their negative energy. With their uneasiness, they would rather avoid the person who is the walking fur ball. With most people with low vision, they would rather stay in their homes and forget about the outside world and their criticism of all t he hair, dribbles and spots on you. Not everyone is crude, or mean, but even if you have a healthy confidence and healthy look at life, being around judgemental people does get very old. You wish you could be around people who were a bit more socially savvy, than socially stuck up.

               I'm a walking fur ball, I will have hair on me, I try to remember to use the roller on my cloths, sometimes I forget if it is out of sight, out of mind. I have many other things to remember since you have sight to cue you in what is needed, I have to remember to check the things that you take for granted and don't have to remember since you are subconsciously cued in, I'm not. I'm a walking fur ball. Get over it.

No comments:

Post a Comment